Spikey Spam - Letter to Heinz

Dear Mr Heinz,

We hope you are well. We are great fan's of your 57 varieties but I do feel you are missing something. And we understand that in the current economic climate it can be hard to bring in new untested products on the UK consumers, but we really do believe we have a winning new product to add to your 57 varieties and make it a magic 58, which is Sam's favourite number.

We have come up with a product that can help alot of problems, pest control and will hardly cost a penny.

Spikey Spam will use the hedgehog cull in Uist every year to create an exciting and slightly dangerous meal. And everyone knows you enjoy things that little bit more when there is an element of danger.

You could also create many by-products from spikey spam. Such as spikey spam and country vegetable soup. Or your famous beans and spikey spam.

With meat in the UK constantly rising in price and farm animal welfare constantly talked about by many a celebrity chef, what better way to have free range, organic and free meat than hedgehogs.

We do hope you will take our suggestion into consideration when you next discuss with Mrs Heinz about new products and we do hope to hear from you on whether my suggestion has been accepted.

We thank you for your time.

All the best,
Sam and Mark